I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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