I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
sarcasm needs its own font
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
