yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
