We're facebook friends in real life
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
