I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
