Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Panties = found
Randomize
