For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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