Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
