with your own penis?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
