Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
