you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
