ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
