I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
