fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you never un-have a 4some
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
