i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
