You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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