It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
