Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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