dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Damn victory sex feels great
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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