I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
