So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
