I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
