he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
