I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
