just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
