I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
