you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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