Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
