Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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