i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
