All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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