You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
