Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
