: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
