its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
