Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
