i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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