They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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