Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
