Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
