So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
