the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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