you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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