he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
