P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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