I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
50% drunk capacity currently
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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