i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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