He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
