all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
