I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
